Maybe it had been some sort of weird dream brought on by too much woohooing.
A hallucinogen slipped into his drink.
By the time he'd pulled back into his driveway, he'd half convinced himself that it had been imagined.
It had happened.
Through some bizarre, freak, random happenstance, he'd given birth to a... a... a green thing!
Opening the door a crack, he peered in. He heard the green thing squalling from the other room. What was he supposed to do with it?!
Jiggling it, he said aloud, "Hey, you're not half bad."
Then, feeling a little weirded out, he set it in the crib & called the Nanny Hotline to get a steady nanny.
Clint stomped over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle and gave it to the kid.
This wasn't working. There had to be something else...
Solveig rolled her eyes. "It's Solveig," she corrected.
Clint look at her blankly, "What?"
"My name is Solveig, not Sally."
"Oh. Okay. Well, Solveig, you've been the kid's nanny for how long? A year?'
Solveig bit her tongue. "It's been almost a year and a half, Sir."
Clint nodded. "Right, right. Well, what I'm trying to say is, you've been with us awhile. And I can tell you're really close to the kid."
"CJ," she interrupted again.
Clint was getting increasingly frustrated. "Right. CJ. Whatever." He paced the room and pushed his hand through his hair. "I can tell you're really close to him. And I'd like to offer you permanent employment with us. Exclusively. I can pay you. Whatever you want."
Solveig briefly hesitated. She was tempted to say no. But, then she thought of poor CJ, growing up without a father who cared, shut away like a dirty secret.
"I agree. On one condition."
Clint let out the breath he'd been holding while waiting for her answer. "Anything!" he gasped.
"I want you to buy CJ some proper toys for his age. A little boy like this needs mental stimulation."
"Just make a list and I'll get it!"
Solveig moved into the nursery on a small cot until Clint was able to add on. But, she didn't mind being close to CJ. It just added to their bond. She made sure CJ learned all the important toddler skills:
Tiptoeing out to get some water, he saw Solveig in the livingroom. "Wow, up late," he remarked.
"Why, Miss Solveig, are you blushing?" he teased.
"I certainly am not!"
Clint thought it was funny that seeing him in his underwear seemed to disconcert her so much. "If you like, you could always strip down to your undies, too..." he teased.
"Hey! He has me! I'm here for him! I got him all those toys! I give him a roof over his head! I got him the best Nanny money can buy!"
Solveig shook her head sadly. "Don't you see? What he needs most is YOU. Oh, why don't you grow up!"
Clint watched the play of emotions cross Solveig's face and was entranced. He saw the love, the devotion, the joy, the sadness... and all of it made him feel so... touched...